wish i'm younger so i'll carefreely be like i was

when you get older. whoever. when you reach legal age and above. there's where all the challenges start na. too many things you wanna do however there's only some that can be achieve and can be done. other possible situations happened only halfway tapos.. stop/finish after that.

and i'm in that situation. i have already decided yes. what i want and all that. there's just this "influencers" where they would go. try this field might be good. good pay, be able to work in large companies, will surrounded by high-rank collegues etc. or this where you can explore much more, can also be well known just so you cna perform. or be here where ..or be there.

one: money is an easy head start

two: the job gives a firm financial for future

three: the job continues till retirement

four: well known

five: REPUTATION

six: pride?

seven: parents' wants and desires?

all come down to these seven basic points? and? the last major point will be happiness. IF only that's a job that you wanted to have for the rest of your life. what if it's not at all. and you have other plans for your own future. and there will always be these "influencers" yes. for sure. hahah i don't think happy can't even occur across my face.

haih. if only. i don't want to waste my time doing what i don't want to do. i want to do this. and that's final. if none's going my way. then i'll force my wayyyyyyy.

....

previously xD a bit tense aah my thoughts above. yes. at the mo i'm struggling. really am struggling. i'm not complaning. i'm not blaming. just fears :) everybody has fears. even if it's only one :) and i have alot unfotunately. people say i don't look like how i am in the outside. sometimes i think that might be wrong. i might be as timid as i am in the outside.

people like me have difficulties to build certain roads that might lead myself the correct one. i usually have to end up at a dead end or a junction or building a bridge across a river/ might also be a sea/ocean. yeah. sigh. but in this case. some decisions should be confirmed asap. some are not. but for me now. they should. o.O

whoever you out there should be lucky that you're still in high school :) best times in your life people say. and it is for me too. where most of my strengths and also weaknesses are being revealed. i dare to say i do miss my high school years :( but it's during high school years i made a lot of mistakes myself. i put myself in huge misery to be in science class. i regret 2 years later i didn't take the oppurtunity to enter art class. yes i know.i was given the chance to be in art class :( i had a talk with the principal about it before any of the classes started back in secondary four. but then again i was determined to finish 2 years of my life in science. so PMBers do choose wisely where you wanted to be in ( arts/science ). yeah bro if you're reading this. do choose wisely. and so to my other fellow pmb friends.

and i do need to finish my piano too o.O sayang ehh. but due to my lack of concentration. i need to wait for me to get paid/ get some work on my ass to continue learning the piano. and yes. i'm old already to learn. i was suppose to finish grade 8 years ago. should have finish it by age 16! but no. again -.- it's my fault.

and yes my rants are becoming not worth to be read but don't mind me now :) this is just my everyday thoughts which are always running thru my mind. and some that might be needed by some others who needs to hear someone out. not that i'm worth to listen to. but at least. it's a thought in which others might also give a time to sit and think again. before making anymore much of regrets. right?

mmm :) dont worry people say. many did the same thing. you think those people at the office love to do what they do. they might be hard core mountain climbers! who love sports! xD whoa!or those people behind the counters. they might be talented singers. just needed much money to go thru the rest of their lives. -.- haih. how cruel can life be? i dunnoe. i dun wanna answer that.

but i'm not worrying all about this. cos it's not worth it. but really. look how my life goes with all that worry and lies. yup that's why i'm at this position. :)

let's freeze time